Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
