Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
