he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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