physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
