Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my shit smells like andre
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
