just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
