will power is for people who don't want to get laid
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize