it's too hot outside to masturbate.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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