Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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