Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he high fived his dick after we had sex
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
