you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
