Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
