2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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