The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
