Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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