We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
