If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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