Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
