dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
