All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
