so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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