Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
