Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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