The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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