wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
