He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
