If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Randomize
