im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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