Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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