I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
