If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize