the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
