If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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