I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
