some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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