I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
