She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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