His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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