Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You have to summon your inner elephant
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
