i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
