I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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