Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
