What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
