i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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