I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
