Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The best revenge is premature balding
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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