He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
