I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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