He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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