Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
