she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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