Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
