I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize