if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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