jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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