you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
