her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
