Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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