Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
