why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I cockslap morals
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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