He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The struggles of a small town man whore
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
