I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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