i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
there is puke in my bra ... again
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